Minor revenge, tis true, but revenge nonetheless. Let me explain.
My ex-husband has been washing his clothes in a house that we’re trying to sell. But, what you need to understand that while this house is on the market, he has not paid one water bill, one electric bill, he hasn’t paid anything. So the fact that he is going there to wash his dirty underwear is a really big slap in my face.
So yesterday, while at the house, I happened upon his laundry supplies and among them was this generic bleach. So I took it.
Yep, put it in that bucket and walked right out of the house with it.
I know this is minor to you, but it’s major to me and it makes me feel as though I have committed the one of the biggest heists of the century!
I can only imagine him walking down the walkway to the house, balancing a big trash bag full of dirty underwear on his hip as he puts his key in the lock and opens the door.
He’ll drop the bag in front of the washing machine and take a big sigh. Then he'll methodically pull out his underwear and carefully place them in the machine.
He’ll start the machine and instantaneously turn to open the cabinet under the sink, which is where he has kept his soap powder and his…
“Where the hell in my bleach?”
Honestly, you’ll probably hear him from wherever you live.
He’s going to flip!
You see, while there isn’t much my mind chooses to remember about the man, I do remember how much he believes in the power and sanctity of bleach. Kinda like a cat believes in fish, a dog believes in bones, a shopper believes in malls, this man believes in bleach. So he will not wash his underwear without this bleach.
See my JOY now?
And even if he’d make that sacrifice to wash the underwear without the bleach, he won’t be able to because I also took the soap powder he had stashed there. Taking that didn’t bring me nearly as much joy, so that’s why I didn’t take a picture of it. It’s the bleach that’s gonna make him fall to his knees.
I am so loving this! The visual is enough to make me double over in laughter!
Don’t judge me til you search your own past… search your own heart…search your own mind…(smile!)
Haven’t you done some silly little thing that meant nothing to anyone besides you?
Haven't you ever done something that was a little mean, but made you smile and brought you joy?
Here’s your chance to come clean. Tell me about it…